My husband, dog, cat and I took an eight-week trip in our motor coach out to Oregon. We were in Corvallis for the total solar eclipse when Jack, an eight-year-old Chihuahua Dachshund asked me to interview him.
Hi Jack! It sure was fun to watch the total eclipse with you!
Those glasses… they left something to be desired. But, it did get dark, which was disconcerting to say the least. I mean, it was 10:13 in the morning!
Okay, let’s get right to the most fascinating point I just heard about you: you’ve had the misfortune of having your stomach pumped three times?!
Is that unusual? I’ve heard of other dogs getting their stomachs pumped after eating something not good for them….
But THREE times? Jack, that is a little unusual.
I like chocolate. Don’t judge me.
I’m not judging… just wondering why you didn’t learn your lesson after the first time.
They were different kinds of chocolate, okay? It’s behind me now. Unless of course, a bag of Hershey miniatures happens to be in front of me.
Okay, clearly you’ve got a sweet tooth and maybe some impulse control issues…
Sweet tooth, yes. Impulse control, no. I just believe that life is short. One of the greatest joys in life is chocolate. I enjoy life.
Your life will be a lot shorter if you continue to eat chocolate, Jack.
You’re not going to win this argument.
Okay, we’ll move on. How about you tell me about your brother (my nephew), Ian Cann?
I love Ian almost as much as chocolate. He’s 14 and is a ninth grader at Corvallis High School. He plays soccer and tennis. He’s totally into applied mathematics; he loves to build robots. He also really digs space, as in outer space. He’s got this heavy duty telescope and we study the skies together.
My eyesight isn’t the best, but Ian explains what he’s seeing and I get to experience it in my imagination. In the evenings, we see Saturn a lot. I wonder if they have chocolate on Saturn.
Food means a lot to you, doesn’t it?
Doesn’t it to everyone? I eat a balanced diet. Fruits and vegetables aren’t food, so they don’t count. In addition to my premium regular dry and canned food, I get to enjoy Ian’s dad’s baking: scrumptious pancakes, cookies and muffins. And, if I’m still hungry and there’s a lunchbox within reach, I’ll help myself to some leftover pizza or a roast beef sandwich and a granola bar.
With all that eating, what do you do for exercise?
I am a world-class couch potato. At least one of the best in the state of Oregon, I’m sure. Definitely the best couch potato chihuahua dachshund!
That’s your exercise?
Unless you’re a serious couch slouch, you have no idea the concentration and willpower that is required. You can’t just get up and run after a toy or come to someone when they call you. No matter how enticing the distraction may be. You MUST stay on the couch, curled up, and look adorable. It’s hard work.
You stay on the couch even when your younger, cat-brother Joey runs in front of you or brings you a toy?
Absolutely. In fact, I’m teaching Joey how to be a couch potato. He’s still learning. He’s only three years old.
Do you go outside to play?
Not really. I’m pretty picky when it comes to climate. I like to sunbathe though.
But you live in Oregon where it rains from October through May!
That’s right. I have my family trained. They know how to take care of my needs with umbrellas and special, covered areas just for my use. Of course if I do go outside and it’s rainy and I happen to get damp, I simply come back inside and Joey the Cat gives me a thorough bathing. Cats’ tongues are much more efficient than dogs’ you know. Plus, it’s nice to have someone else, especially a cat, groom you.
What do you like to do with Ian?
Lots of things! But mostly I love it when he gives me belly rubs. We sit on the couch together and he just rubs my tummy. It is soooooo relaxing. Most times, I just fall asleep. And then I snore.
The other thing I like to do with Ian, and the rest of the family, is watch Modern Family. That show cracks up all of us: Ian’s dad Dave, his mom Ilene, and brother Ben. When they laugh, I laugh. Not a “people laugh” but more like a howl. I laugh with my family and I sing with them like only a chihuahua dachshund can. I also howl when I hear the phone ring. And sometimes the doorbell. I don’t get up from the couch though. I just howl from the couch. That seems to be sufficient.
I’m curious. Can you do any tricks?
Sure I can. If you toss me a treat, I’ll look at it.
You won’t catch it? That’s usually what dogs do.
That’s not the trick I do. I look at the treat. And continue looking at it. Then I look at you. You will get the treat and give it to me. That’s how the trick works.
I don’t like to expend any more energy than I have to.
My family thinks I’ve got poor eye-mouth coordination. I let them think that. But you tell me, by them retrieving and handing me the treats, do you really think I’ve got poor eye-mouth coordination? I think not.
Sounds like your trick is pretty sneaky.
Just a smart use of a limited energy source.
One final question, which celebrity do you think you most resemble?
Well, I’ve seen the movie Fargo and I have to say Steve Buscemi has a special place in my heart. It’s the eyes. Those big, chihuahua dachshund eyes.
Do you have a “couch potato” pet? Leave a comment – we’d love to hear from you!